Satire

Rishi’s Racism: Part 3 – Indian family trees, marrying billionaires and being richer than King Charles

Rishi's Racism: Part 3 - Indian family trees, marrying billionaires and being richer than King Charles | Rock & Art

The main criticisms levelled at Rishi when he became prime minister.

Rishi became PM and a new age of racial optimism was ushered in. The glass ceiling for minorities had been shattered. Our children wouldn’t have to suffer the discrimination we had. Prejudice against Hindu British Indians that’s been normalised would reduce. Racism in the UK might even stop. This was balanced and even outweighed by the rage inducing negativity from the detractors. A collision course was set when Rishi ran for leadership and the long simmering beef boiled over into a thinly veiled character assassination campaign. The main ad hominem attacks, criticisms and controversies on Rishi were his family tree, parent’s background, rich wife, rich in-laws, marrying a rich girl, being richer than the king and entitlement. There are many other grumbles such as immigration, but I’m not going to focus on the last 21 months, just the main protests just when he became PM.

Family Tree

Various news websites including the Guardian published Rishi’s family tree as well as articles on his family background. The Independent authored an article on Rishi’s in-laws. Has this ever been done for any other British PM? Is this just a polite way of asking “Where are you from originally?”

Some of the information went back to his great grandparents during the partition  on India in 1947. Please put your hands up if you know the parents of any PM. Now a show of hands if you know their in-laws. And finally hands up if you know their grandparents or great grandparents? Was there any reason to delve back into the history books of Rishi’s family. This felt like one of those tv shows where celebs trace their ancestry, even though it’s only been done for Rishi.

He grew up entitled and privileged

He grew up middle class, the son of a GP and pharmacist. Is this really entitled? Is someone who grew up middle class, categorised as entitled or privileged?

But just because you go to a posh private school, it doesn’t mean you are posh and instantly gallop up the British class system. Rishi may have been in the most privileged educational system, but he may have had the least money and social status within that system. 

Attending a private school is common amongst many highly educated or professional Indian parents and Indians are the ethnic minority that spend the most on private school education. This is less an exception and more of a rule amongst Indians of a higher socio economic demographic. Whilst his private school was widely reported, less print space was given to the fact that he graduated from Oxford university.

Marrying into Money

First of all, many ex PMs had wealthy wives. David Cameron was married to a Scottish heiress! I bet you never knew that! In America, it’s very common for politicians to marry rich women or into rich families. The late senator John McCain married Cindy Hensley, a Heinz heiress.  

Rishi was already wealthy when he met Akshata Murty, being an investment banker at the holy alter of aspirational wealth, Goldman Sachs. But choice of marriage partner had the British media describe him as a scrappy profiteer or gold digger par excellence.

Still, marrying into money, especially billionaire heiresses isn’t easy. Take it from me, I’ve tried it. The fathers are always suspicious, watching your every move and looking down their noses at you.

I was very close friends with a former work colleague, everyone could see there were sparks flying and observed and maybe even enjoyed the vibrant chemistry between us and the Ross and Rachel, will they, won’t they, continuous soap opera. In terms of marriage, being my work wife was as far as it got. Even though she openly confessed that she would have gone out with and even marry me, she knew her father would never allow it. Her father wasn’t a billionaire, or a millionaire and hadn’t founded one of India’s top tech companies. He ran the 12th best cash and carry in Leeds. A respectable achievement, until you realise there was only about 14 anyway. 

We were both of the same religion, but she was a Punjabi Sikh Brahmin, but not just any, they were of the highest categorisation apparently. Punjabi Sikhs are like the Irish of Indians, they are easily prone to drinking and fighting. Gujaratis (anyone whose surname is Patel) are India’s version of Jews, but this is explained in another article. For any non-Indian, Hindu brahmins are historically and supposedly at the top of the social caste hierarchy, so marriage to lowly me, would be out of the question.

Comedian Akash Singh’s view on the different type of Indians

I confronted him. “How dare you, I’ll have you know that my father is a respected consultant NHS hospital doctor. I am the epitome of British middle class! How dare you bring your antiquated, outdated caste ideology with you, over from India.”

(Sorry, I may have some unresolved rejection issues that I need to work on.)

I wanted to say that to him but didn’t possess the courage. See my note above about how Sikhs like to fight. But as my work wife told me that her dad wouldn’t consider anyone outside their caste, “Even if he cured cancer,” (I had interrogated her and investigated all the different scenarios,) I resigned myself to a future without Jasmeen.

Sorry for my rant, I went off topic, I think I needed to vent and it felt cathartic. Anyway, my point and I do have one, is that it isn’t easy marrying into money, especially when your dad is a humble GP and your prospective father in law, doesn’t own a cash and carry but a substantial share in India’s top tech company and is worth billions.

I am sure Akshata and her parents wouldn’t have considered him if he wasn’t working for Goldmans and wasn’t highly educated with a Fulbright scholarship. Whatever that is.

He has rich in laws

Rishi's Racism: Part 3 - Indian family trees, marrying billionaires and being richer than King Charles | Rock & Art

Antonio Rodríguez. 25 October 2022. Image: Cartoon Movement.

Good for him. I wish I did. But why is this an issue. His father in law is the Bill Gates/Steve Jobs of Indian IT. Isn’t that an advantage.

Another criticism was his father in law owned an office in Russia (which has now been shut down) as part of his company Infosys. Since when has a PMs in laws business dealing been relevant. Can anyone name me a single in law of any previous PM ever, or even one of their business dealings?

Doesn’t understand people cos he’s rich – Richer than the King

Rishi's Racism: Part 3 - Indian family trees, marrying billionaires and being richer than King Charles | Rock & Art

Ramses 24 October 2022. Image: Cartoon movement.

Rishi became PM and the presumptive hatred peddled by critics skyrocketed through the stratosphere, following and accelerating over a trajectory set by India’s recent landing on the moon’s south side. I heard the first gripe, literally five minutes after Rishi had become PM from one of my work colleagues. He doesn’t understand people, he’s too rich. Even richer than the king. Tory MPs tend and prime ministers have a track record of being affluent, but it seems to have rankled more when Rishi was rich.

He’s not actually British, he’s American

At this point, some of the labyrinthine conspiracy theories became increasingly untethered from reality. We navigated a world where a literary centrifuge was needed to separate fact from fiction. The murky subterfuge started mainly due to him studying in America, having a house in Santa Monica and previously holding a US green card. Conveniently spurning the actuality that he was born and bred in the UK.

He’s short

Nothing seems to be off limits for Rishi. The most recent criticism, he’s short.

As someone of similar height, there is absolutely no bias in me saying that short men can be as successful, rich and sexy as tall men. Not me personally, but other short men anyway.

Does anyone even know the height of a single other former PM?

Also, the man revered as the greatest prime minister, Winston Churchill was 5’5’’, but until recently, I bet you never knew that? Any why would you? It’s not important is it. But it seems to be a sudden criteria now that Rishi is PM.

Is it cos I is brown?

Are all the above criticism just a polite way of skirting around the real issue. Britons fearing that what they did to other countries for hundreds of years is now being done to them and they were being “reverse colonised.”

Trevor Noah’s epic take down of the complaints when Rishi became PM

I agree. Maybe a white person should be in charge. A head of state should look like the population he reflects. However, what about the fact that Britain travelled around the world conquering and becoming rulers of countries like Africa where the populations didn’t look anything like the rulers. That’s a long time ago I hear you say. A current example could be late Queen Elizabeth and current King Charles are the rulers of the commonwealth countries. A white face ruling a country with over 90% black people. Do these rulers look like the people they rule?

At this point, may I ask what is the point of the commonwealth? They barely trade with each other. Apart from to show other former colonialists that Britain is the crème de la crème of colonialists as they are the only country that still own other non-white countries, whilst the other colonialists have now lost theirs. And that due to this, Britain may have been right all along in invading other countries, as some countries are still agreeing to be second class citizens in their own country? Rant over.

Tune in for the final part tomorrow.

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