The last few weeks of the year are always so weird, aren’t they? 

You have no idea what day it is or what you’re supposed to be doing with your life but one thing is for sure; it’s never too early for an alcoholic drink and there’s no such thing as too much food. 

All your bad habits are out in full swing because you might as well wait until the New Year to sort your life out (again). 

New Year + pressure

The end of the year comes hand-in-hand with reminiscing the year, figuring out what your resolutions are going to be that coming year (or 48 hours in most cases), and of course parties. 

But for some reason, I always feel this immense amount of pressure and fearfulness towards New Year’s Eve. 

Every film which features New Year’s Eve paints the night as this huge spectacle of an event for everyone. The couple gets together, friends make up, the awfulness from the past year slips away in between sparkles and laughter, and the next day they wake up and everything is perfect as they skip into the new year.

For me, though every time the countdown comes on and the anticipation fills the room, my heart starts to beat fast and my hands become clammy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m waiting for something massive to happen when we reach ‘one’ but it always makes me want to pick up my phone to pretend to be busy while I scroll. 

Sometimes it can be hard for people to look back on the past year but we can feel forced into it just by the title of the night. All while having to be happy (because no one can be miserable on such a day). 

We don’t always want to say goodbye to something we’ve become comfortable with, and sometimes we want to leave it all behind so much that the doors already shut and we can’t bear the thought of going on about it anymore; especially to strangers who for some reason have their hands on yours in a crammed bar while they unload their past year on you. 

It’s not just the night though. By the next morning, hangover or not, the new version of you should be out in full swing. The past year left behind and this new and improved you are ready to jump out of bed to open the curtains to the new year. Old habits are gone, new habits started. 

Habits are hard to quit and hard to start and in reality, it is SO much more than just stating you’re making this change and it happening. 

But because of the films and what we’ve been led to believe if we don’t do this, we’re somehow failing or not doing it right. 

In reality, New Year can be whatever you want. Something you celebrate, or something that happens. 

The main thing is you should be proud of overcoming everything life has thrown at you the past year, and know that whatever the new year has in store for you you’ll continue to face it day by day.