Now we all know that Christmas is typically a time for family and that spending time with family members you haven’t seen all year, that didn’t necessarily ‘get’ the emo stage you’ve never quite grown out of, can be quite a challenge, to say the least.
But as my Dad always told me, when stuck in situations with people that aren’t necessarily your cup of tea, for example, this Christmas Day when you’re trapped in a room with your old-fashioned Grandma, creepy economics lecturer Uncle and Tory cousin, it is best to dabble in the art of compromise.
And by compromise, I can only mean grabbing the aux and playing all the Christmas family favourites that capture the true spirit of the holiday season, but of course, with a twist.
Here are my recommendations for Christmas songs that everyone will enjoy – right?
10 Best Rock Christmas Songs…
1) White Christmas – Stiff Little Fingers
This 1988 rendition of a Christmas favourite is the perfect way to get the party started. Featuring a punk classic scream of “1,2,3,4” into an explosive drop, this tune is sure to knock your Grandma’s socks off.
2) Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight) – The Ramones
Branching out now all the way to 1989, this Christmas bop sends a clear message to your friends and family that even after 7 glasses of malbec, you’re not about to recreate an Eastenders Christmas Special moment.
3) Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) – The Darkness
An absolute classic that you just can’t go without on Christmas Day, raising a glass arm in arm with family and friends as you celebrate the fact you won’t have to see them again for another whole year.
4) Run Rudolph Run – Lemmy, Bill Gibbons, Dave Grohl
Now, I know what you may be thinking, Lemmy? In a Xmas song? Surely this can’t work? But I’m telling you, your ears are in for an absolute musical treat and if you don’t believe me ask Dave Grohl.
5) Christmas With The Devil – Spinal Tap
Taking it back now to 1984 with the infamous Spinal Tap, in case you needed a reason to launch into an epic to air-guitar solo and pretend you still have your 80s haircut.
6) Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy – Our Last Night, Cole Rolland
Now, this instrumental tune is an absolute delight, starting off very similar to its classical version before blowing your mind with guitar madness. This one requires being played on full blast.
7) Mary’s Boy Child/ Oh My Lord – Boney M
Now, I’m not joking this time when I say that this might ACTUALLY be a song that all the family can enjoy- a light-hearted medley from the Euro-Caribbean kings and queens of disco soul that gets even the biggest Scrooges of the world on their feet.
8) Santa Claws Is Coming To Town – Alice Cooper, John 5, Billy Sheehan, Vinny Appice
Another insane voice to hear on a Xmas song, Alice Cooper does not disappoint as he growls into the microphone and reassures you that Santa Claws is indeed coming to town.
9) Auld Lang Syne – Girlschool
A rocker’s take on a classic dating back to the 1700s. Do I have to sell it to you anymore?
10) Back Door Santa – The Black Crowes
A slightly filthier number to perhaps play with friends rather than family, this rockier cover of Clarence Carter’s ‘Back Door Santa’ is the perfect number for starting the Xmas afterparty!
Well, there you have it, there are 10 absolute corkers to whip out at the dinner table.
Before I leave you to your crackers and terrible jokes, however, I’d just like to give an honourable mention to the songs that didn’t quite make the cut, namely for being pure, unadulterated filth, far too inappropriate for your Nan’s ears.
1- The Stocking Song – Steel Panther
2- A Christmas Duel – The Hives, Cyndi Lauper
3- I Won’t Be Home For Christmas – blink-182
4- Happy Holidays, You Bastard- blink-182
5- Boris Johnson Is STILL a F***ing C**t – The Kunts
Finally, my last recommendation for the road, if anyone is having a sad Christmas and fancies having their heart ripped out, only one Xmas song will do the job…
Give ‘My Dear Acquaintance (A Happy New Year)’ by Regina Spektor a go, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
